So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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