I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
