He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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