By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
