I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
