how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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