After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
