Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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