marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
People in love make me want to vomit
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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