Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize