I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
