I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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