even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
