it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
