he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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