Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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