just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
