i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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