it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
