I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
not ubering you a puppy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
