dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
