i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
