i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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