My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
