she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
