Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
