ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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