I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize