dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
