his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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