i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
