His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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