why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
