my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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