Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
