Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
