Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize