remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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