ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
