drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
