My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
