some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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