i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize