Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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