oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
