Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
