haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My dick has a subreddit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
