You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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