I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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