I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
