Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize