That's intense
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
