I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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