I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize