the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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