11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
