So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize