I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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