He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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