I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
