How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
