U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
