he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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