Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
